Sixty-Two/Sixty Three

I'm so glad I went over to Sandi's yesterday. [I was only going for a few hours, but ended up staying the night] I had such a great time, for the most part. We watched V for Vendetta, and hung out, and played the "Penis game" in a grocery store. Had some great, intelligent, open conversations and I remembered why I enjoyed talking to her so much. Also, prank called McDonalds. It was hilarious.

There was some tension with her mother... she tries to analyze and read everyone, and got irritable when she wasn't able to "get a read" on me. As well as at one point, I got REALLY anxious for no reason. Went for a walk, that didn't help, so we walked over to the park [at ~11 pm] and I meditated. That helped.

One thing I've noticed is that when I get anxious, I get more...intuitive? When something is "off" I feel it more, and stronger. And I'm much more aware of things, like when I knew we shouldn't walk towards a certain area, or the fact that there is supposedly a spirit in Sandi's house. [Yes, I believe in them. Or, rather, I do not disbelieve. That would be more accurate.] It would make sense that I notice more, as a survival mechanism.

Food-wise, I am NOT happy, but I managed to avoid a complete freak out.

I miss Ari. <3 Lovelovelovelovelove.

Sixty-Two:
Despite being determined to and making the choice, I don't know if I would have ever killed myself. It doesn't feel real.
Breakfast: Bagel w/cream cheese
Lunch: Ravioli
Dinner: Spaghetti alfredo thing
Other: Coke, cookie dough, chocolate and strawberry mousse, dole sparkler
Excersize: Walking
Harm: None

Sixty-Three:
I can never decide whether I'm scared of the dark or not. It depends on my mood, where I am, and who I'm with. Also, how long I'm in the darkness.
Breakfast: Bagel w/butter
Lunch: Crackers w/cheese and garlic sausage
Dinner: Coca-Cola.
Other: Dole Sparkler, coke, candy
Excersize: Paddocks
Harm: None