I've been letting my thoughts slip too much recently. I've fallen into non-recovery thinking. When I started with this I was all GUNG-HO LETS DO THIS I WANT TO BE HAPPY. But lately i've been thinking of excuses to cheat, letting myself be negative even when I know I could think otherwise, forgetting to encourage myself, and in general just letting my thoughts be stupid. So far it's only my thinking that's slipped, but i'm beginning to see physical things go downhill too.
I did, however, get shocked out of that today. I don't know how long it will last, but any bit is good. A question that i'm sure everyone is asked at some point is "What would you do if you found out you had X amount of time to live?" I was thinking about that today... If I found out I was going to die soon, i'd let myself be happy, enjoy life, and although i'd probably get pretty reckless [in a bad way], i'd also try to, just... be happy. And then it hit me.
I could have died multiple times. I almost did die once... I was about two hours away. I would have died unhappy.
...I don't want that.
Breakfast: Orange cranberry muffin
Lunch: Chicken ceasar wrap from Thriftys
Dinner: Buffet at Sabri's [East indian restaurant]. I'm not entirely sure what I ate XD
Other: Jones root beer, two mini cupcakes, one cup of lemon ginger tea with a bit of honey
Excersize: None. >.<;
Harm: None.
Days eating properly: 1
Days without self-harming: 3
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