Crash and burn

You should know that the lies won't hide your flaws
No sense in hiding all of yours
You gave up on your dreams along the way, yeah
- - -
I want to feel wanted.
I feel selfish, pathetic, and arrogant for this.
- - -
I can't face myself when I wake up
And look inside a mirror
I'm so ashamed of that thing
I suppose I'll let it go
Untill I have something more to say for me
And I'm out of reason to believe in me
- - -
It's stupid to think anyone ever would. Look at me; I'm ugly and fat and stupid and useless. My skin expands and wobbles and sticks, my eyes are zombified and gray, my nose is too big, my lips teeth and jaw is crooked, I can't smile normally, my hair is greasy and frizzy and sits wrong, my eyebrows are huge and bushy, my skin is pimpley and disgusting. My arms are weak and flabby - chicken wings. My collarbones are covered in fat and so is my chest, my breasts are small and oddly shaped, my rip cage is huge and still covered in fat, i've got love handles and a beer belly despite the fact that i don't drink. my thighs are huge and stick together and wobble, my calves are huge and scarred and ugly, my feet are too huge, my fingernails are bitten and ripped.
- - -
I tell ya she's a heart breaker
And you can't tell me she ain't
There's a little devil in her...
'Cause she don't know wrong from right
- - -
I can't do anything right. I can't even function. I can't go to school or work or get good grades or help anyone or walk right or talk right or eat right or sleep right. I fail at just being human. I snap and cry and fake and scream and say the wrong things at the wrong time and do the wrong things and can't even do the simplest of tasks correctly. I can't walk without tripping or walking into anything, i can't talk properly, i can't do work below my grade level, i can't think, i can't even be happy properly. i'm jealous and arrogant and hateful and spiteful and sadistic and stupid and lazy and needy and pathetic and clingy and careless and cold and a failure.
- - -
But I'm a creep, I'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doing here?
I don't belong here
- - -
How dare I want anything, and be selfish and arrogant enough to want other people to want me. It's needy and pathetic. No one ever  would and I don't blame them - I wouldn't like me, either.
- - -
The red water washed around your sins
but are you as pure as this?
No you are not honest
You are not healthy
You are not honest, honest.
- - -
sigh.
I wish I was someone else.
I want to be wanted. I feel so lonely it hurts.
- - -
All I want is perfection...
I'll reach my goals but they're never good enough
I wanna be the person that everyone looks at with envy
Perfect on the inside, and out