Thursday, March 31, 2011

"i'm fine."

why is it so difficult to say "i am struggling tonight."
i hate wanting someone or something to make it all better and yet being so terrified into incapability of reaching out. i hate being engulfed in pain and not being able to ease it.
i hate being on the edge of tears yet not crying.

i don't understand the point of happiness. i don't. it's always brief and followed by pain. i can't rationalize happiness other than "it makes you feel good" - but isn't that redundant? "i like feeling good because it makes me feel good" i don't see how it's worth it, or really anything other than pointless. i don't understand it at all.

i don't know what to do.

Who's to know if your soul will fade at all?
The one you sold to fool the world
You lost your self-esteem along the way, yeah

Good god, you're comin' up with reasons
Good god, you're draggin' it out
And good god, it's the changin' of the seasons
I feel so right, so follow me down and just

Fake it, if you're out of direction
Fake it, if you don't belong, yeah
Fake it, if you feel like infection
Whoa, you're such a fuckin' hypocrite

You should know that the lies won't hide your flaws
No sense in hiding all of yours
You gave up on your dreams along the way, yeah

Good god, you're comin' up with reasons
Good god, you're draggin' it out
And good god, it's the changin' of the seasons
I feel so right so follow me down and just

Fake it, if you're out of direction
Fake it, if you don't belong, yeah
Fake it, if you feel like infection
Whoa, you're such a fuckin' hypocrite

I can fake with the best of anyone
I can fake with the best of them all
I can fake with the best of anyone
I can fake it all

Who's to know if your soul will fade at all?
The one you sold to fool the world
You lost your self-esteem along the way, yeah

Good god, you're comin' up with reasons
Good god, you're draggin' it out
Good god, it's the changin' of the seasons
I feel so right, man, follow me down and just

Fake it, if you're out of direction
Fake it, if you don't belong, yeah
Fake it, if you feel like infection
Whoa, you're such a fuckin' hypocrite

Fake it, if you're out of direction
Fake it, if you don't belong, yeah
Fake it, if you feel like infection
Whoa, you're such a fuckin' hypocrite

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