I'm not far away from stepping off
I finally picked out my cloud
It's the one over there surrounded by all that air
You reached out your hand
And said "I understand"
So why not come down?
Well except for a few small bruises, cuts and scars I'm fine
no matter what i do, I feel like i'm being torn apart. it doesn't matter. nothing matters. the pain can only be temporarily eased. it doesn't go away, it won't ever. no matter what i do, i feel like shit. sad and lonely and sick and hurt and angry and empty.
It kills me to watch this fade
And I realize, it's all charade
And every mistake I make's the same
I beseech you to let me drown
Will it please you to let me down?
And no one can save me from the pain
the closer i get to people, the more it hurts. the lonelier i get.
i can't bear it.
i should withdraw. keep myself from getting close to people. but that hurts, too.
so, i should remove myself from existance. that's as far from people as you can get. not to mention i wouldn't have to feel so badly.
"Suicide is a form of murder— premeditated murder. It isn’t something you do the first time you think of doing it. It takes some getting used to. And you need the means, the opportunity, the motive. A successful suicide demands good organization and a cool head, both of which are usually incompatible with the suicidal state of mind.
It’s important to cultivate detachment. One way to do this is to practice imagining yourself dead, or in the process of dying. If there’s a window, you must imagine your body falling out the window. If there’s a knife, you must imagine the knife piercing your skin. If there’s a train coming, you must imagine your torso flattened under its wheels. These exercises are necessary to achieving the proper distance.
The debate was wearing me out. Once you've posed that question, it won't go away. I think many people kill themselves simply to stop the debate about whether they will or they won't. Anything I thought or did was immediately drawn into the debate. Made a stupid remark—why not kill myself? Missed the bus—better put an end to it all. Even the good got in there. I liked that movie—maybe I shouldn’t kill myself."
It’s important to cultivate detachment. One way to do this is to practice imagining yourself dead, or in the process of dying. If there’s a window, you must imagine your body falling out the window. If there’s a knife, you must imagine the knife piercing your skin. If there’s a train coming, you must imagine your torso flattened under its wheels. These exercises are necessary to achieving the proper distance.
The debate was wearing me out. Once you've posed that question, it won't go away. I think many people kill themselves simply to stop the debate about whether they will or they won't. Anything I thought or did was immediately drawn into the debate. Made a stupid remark—why not kill myself? Missed the bus—better put an end to it all. Even the good got in there. I liked that movie—maybe I shouldn’t kill myself."
I have to deal with life and do things...why not? life sucks...why not?
I'm useless. pointless.
pathetic, needy.
selfish, self-centered, arrogant, attention-whore.
stupid, lazy, unmotivated, sedentary.
not to mention in pain.
why not, why not...
There's a breeze in the air
There's a boat anchored out here
There's a calm under the waves as I choose to sink
With your voice in my head
I would float here instead
But there's a calm under the waves
So I choose to sink
There's a boat anchored out here
There's a calm under the waves as I choose to sink
With your voice in my head
I would float here instead
But there's a calm under the waves
So I choose to sink
i can't be saved. and it's all so much. too much.
everything feels too far away to try for.
i don't want to be here.
i don't want to do this anymore.
Let the waves up take me down
Let the hurricane set in motion, yeah
Let the rain of what I feel right now, come down
Let the rain come down
Let the hurricane set in motion, yeah
Let the rain of what I feel right now, come down
Let the rain come down
My will to quickly end it all
Sat front row in my need to fall
Sat front row in my need to fall
Please, just let me go.
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