I don't think I had any in the first place, but that's irrelevant.
I can't do anything. I can't push myself. I'm just a ball of impulsiveness that gives in to every whim. I can't make a choice, I'm a slave to my urges.
I can't do anything I used to. I can't even go forty-eight hours without sleep, or even a day without food before bingeing. I can't bring myself to properly purge. I can't talk or not-talk or exercise past my limits.
I can't force my skin to give way to my mind.
1 cut, right thigh. 1/8 inch deep, 1 inch long.
I was going to go deeper, past the layers of my flesh but i came to my senses
I freaked out and couldn't bring myself to. Stupid. once again my body wins over my mind.
is that all i am? flesh and bones and muscles and cravings and urges and needs? pathetic, needy ball of lard? am i not more than this? i have no control. i can't bring myself to do anything, my mind makes no choices.
Pathetic.
i am worth nothing. and i lack the ability and control to even try to change this. [not that i ever could anyways]
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