Went to a friend's baby shower today. There was WAY too many people. I ended up essentially curling up into a ball in the corner on a couch and shutting down for an hour and a half. After that it got a bit better. I was able to avoid all food so I didn't binge, and eventually chilled out. I just told anyone that asked [well, wrote for them] that I was claustrophobic and didn't like the amount of people. Sort of true. Whatever. Anyways, it got better. Sort of.
Breakfast: Bagel w/cream cheese and cheese
Lunch: Skipped
Dinner: Sandwich - cheese, lettuce, low-fat mayo, red pepper jelly
Other: A ton of juice,three mini cookies and a tart.
Exercise: A tiny bit of walking. Not really.
Harm: 40. On my fucking arm. I'm not impressed. I don't remember deciding to do it and that freaks me out. I know it's just my subconscious telling me that I needed to, my body responding, and that overriding my conscious, but still, it always scares me. I hate losing control like that. Also, the shallowness of it bothers me. It didn't even hurt. Not while I was cutting, not afterward, not now. I feel like it should hurt for at least a day afterwards. Any 'scars' from it should be gone in a few months. I know that this shouldn't bother me but it does. Augh.
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