Ninety-One

I feel weird. I don't even feel numb, or detached. But it's like my emotions are muted. But it's not the same.
I'm rather sick of me. I got new clothes and they bother me. I look disgusting in them.
Also, fuck change.

you're worth so much,
it'll never be enough.
seem so far from everything
you're wanting to be,
you're wanting to be.

tears falling down again,
tears falling down.

you fall to your knees,
you beg, you plead.
can i be somebody else,
for all the times i hate myself?
your failures devour your heart.
in every hour you're drowning
in your imperfection.

Breakfast: same as yesterday
Lunch: small salad, homemade applesauce.
Dinner: homemade pizza
Other: tea, pineapple juice
Exercise: paddocks.
Harm: none.