The Breakdown is growing closer, I can tell [I consider this mostly a good thing]. On wednesday I went to Hastings'. I ended up having a panic attack/minor meltdown on their couch for a few hours. Luckily Hastings is one of the few people who's actually able to help, and he was there for me through it, as was Aki.
I'm scared about sunday. We're having a family get-together dinner thing. I don't want to go. I can't talk there and I know people will be expecting me to. I don't want to deal with that, and their disappointment when I don't. I'll end up sitting antisocially in a corner, and that's uncomfortable and awefpoorpgkfdfokg. Also, last time we had a dinner there, my uncle kept making fun of me for how much I ate. Whatifthathappensagain?HowmuchdoIeat?ASfosiwejfejfoefkpowekf.
Hopefully Hastings can come, but he probably has to work.
It's been a week off from two months since I've actually talked to Ari.
This upsets me. Bothers me.
Oh well, I guess. Fuck time [and dirt and air], yes?
♥
I'm not really sure what else to write here. I feel like I should, but..bleh. Those are the only things that matter right now, anyways.
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| Here's me. I look like crap, complete with dark eyes - courtesy of my recent lack of sleep. |
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